Asteroid impact illustration courtesy of NASA
The End of the World is apparently an annual event on this planet as it seems that EVERY year some prognosticator has figured out that the EXACT end of the world will be [ Fill in the date ] of this year!
Really…
It’s been established that “gpawn” is a certified curmudgeon and if you’ve been reading our pawn shop blog for any length of time you will know that curmudgeon is just a nice way of saying old, opinionated and set in his ways.
Really…
It’s been established that “gpawn” is a certified curmudgeon and if you’ve been reading our pawn shop blog for any length of time you will know that curmudgeon is just a nice way of saying old, opinionated and set in his ways.
So as a certified curmudgeon, I can confidently state that there have been 47 publicized End of the World predictions in my lifetime. (This does not include all of the unpublicized predictions from folks like the crazy old “Cat lady” down the street or the wise old gentleman who seems to live out in front of the local library.)
For some reason 2012 seems to be “Ground Zero” for the End of the World predictions. There are so many that Wikipedia has called it, “The 2012 Phenomenon” and devoted an entire page to the topic.
Yup, it seems that EVERYBODY has designated 2012 as The End of the World and EVERYBODY has their own specific theory as to how we’re all going to disappear.
For some reason 2012 seems to be “Ground Zero” for the End of the World predictions. There are so many that Wikipedia has called it, “The 2012 Phenomenon” and devoted an entire page to the topic.
Yup, it seems that EVERYBODY has designated 2012 as The End of the World and EVERYBODY has their own specific theory as to how we’re all going to disappear.
Mayan Calendar photo courtesy of Wikipedia
On board for this year’s End of the World parties are:
Mesoamerican Long Count calendar (Mayan Calendar)-
You may have heard of this. The Mayan calendar supposedly stops this year. We suspect they may have just gotten tired of doing calendars or found a better deal somewhere else.
Galactic alignment-
Oh yeah, the planets are all going to line up and collide into each other. Should make for a pretty good show?
Timewave zero and the I Ching-
"Timewave zero" is a numerological formula that purports to calculate the ebb and flow of "novelty", defined as increase over time in the universe's interconnectedness, or organized complexity.”
(Entirely to “Out there” for gpawn to understand.)
Geomagnetic Reversal-
North Pole becomes the South Pole and the South Pole becomes the North Pole…uh…of course it does…
Planet X/Nibiru-
Hooray! The Mysterious Planet X, also known as Nibiru makes its FIRST appearance AND promptly crashes into planet Earth.
…oh yeah…and about a dozen other theories.
Now of all the End of the World prognosticators…the legendary Harold Camping is my favorite. Harold has spent his entire life issuing completely wrong End of the World predictions. Harold has tossed FIVE End of the World Predictions out, just since 1995 and his most famous awful prediction was on May 21st, 2011.
Mesoamerican Long Count calendar (Mayan Calendar)-
You may have heard of this. The Mayan calendar supposedly stops this year. We suspect they may have just gotten tired of doing calendars or found a better deal somewhere else.
Galactic alignment-
Oh yeah, the planets are all going to line up and collide into each other. Should make for a pretty good show?
Timewave zero and the I Ching-
"Timewave zero" is a numerological formula that purports to calculate the ebb and flow of "novelty", defined as increase over time in the universe's interconnectedness, or organized complexity.”
(Entirely to “Out there” for gpawn to understand.)
Geomagnetic Reversal-
North Pole becomes the South Pole and the South Pole becomes the North Pole…uh…of course it does…
Planet X/Nibiru-
Hooray! The Mysterious Planet X, also known as Nibiru makes its FIRST appearance AND promptly crashes into planet Earth.
…oh yeah…and about a dozen other theories.
Now of all the End of the World prognosticators…the legendary Harold Camping is my favorite. Harold has spent his entire life issuing completely wrong End of the World predictions. Harold has tossed FIVE End of the World Predictions out, just since 1995 and his most famous awful prediction was on May 21st, 2011.
Photo courtesy of Wikipedia
Alas, Harold doesn’t have a proverbial “Dog” in this year’s race to oblivion…but we can still honor him and all the other Sooth-Sayers out there by having our SECOND annual, Glendale Pawn and Jewelry “End of the World Sale”!
(The first annual Glendale Pawn and Jewelry “End of the World Sale” was on May 21st, 2011 Harold’s record FIFTH prediction. Remember THAT one? People were driving around in vans with loudspeakers and posting all the horrible details on not only Internet bulletin boards, but real life BILLBOARDS! Remember friends…don’t give Harold any more money as he tends to go off the deep end with this stuff.)
This year’s “End of the World Sale” is scheduled for December 21st, 2012 since this seems to be the date that everyone has settled on.
So here’s the deal for this year’s, “End of the World Sale”:
1) Come on down to Glendale Pawn and Jewelry.
2) Pick out something you’ve always wanted like fine jewelry, big flat screen television, power tools, home electronics or collectibles.
3) Make your purchase from one of our super friendly staff members.
4) Go home and enjoy your new item and be proud of the fact that you saved 30% - 60% on your purchase, as compared to the big retail stores.
Now IF the World ends on December 21st, 2012 as predicted, we will refund your entire purchase on December 22nd, 2012…IN CASH…AND YOU GET TO KEEP YOUR PURCHASED ITEMS!
Can you find a better deal? Uh, the answer would be NO WAY! So hurry up and get down here while there’s still a huge selection of absolutely everything!
So…until the world ends in some kind of “Cosmic Event”…”We’re glad you’re here!”
(The first annual Glendale Pawn and Jewelry “End of the World Sale” was on May 21st, 2011 Harold’s record FIFTH prediction. Remember THAT one? People were driving around in vans with loudspeakers and posting all the horrible details on not only Internet bulletin boards, but real life BILLBOARDS! Remember friends…don’t give Harold any more money as he tends to go off the deep end with this stuff.)
This year’s “End of the World Sale” is scheduled for December 21st, 2012 since this seems to be the date that everyone has settled on.
So here’s the deal for this year’s, “End of the World Sale”:
1) Come on down to Glendale Pawn and Jewelry.
2) Pick out something you’ve always wanted like fine jewelry, big flat screen television, power tools, home electronics or collectibles.
3) Make your purchase from one of our super friendly staff members.
4) Go home and enjoy your new item and be proud of the fact that you saved 30% - 60% on your purchase, as compared to the big retail stores.
Now IF the World ends on December 21st, 2012 as predicted, we will refund your entire purchase on December 22nd, 2012…IN CASH…AND YOU GET TO KEEP YOUR PURCHASED ITEMS!
Can you find a better deal? Uh, the answer would be NO WAY! So hurry up and get down here while there’s still a huge selection of absolutely everything!
So…until the world ends in some kind of “Cosmic Event”…”We’re glad you’re here!”
gpawn
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